How to overcome a social phobia

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 How to overcome a social phobia

Some individuals have great difficulty communicating because of fear or anxiety problems. If you have this type of problem, you have a social phobia, also known as an anxiety disorder. There are several things you can do to better manage your daily interactions.

Confronting Anxiety Disorders

Confront your negative thoughts.

Anxiety disorders can cause you to have a poor idea of yourself when you are in a social setting. You'll probably think you look like an idiot or that you're going to pick up a shovel. To overcome this, the first thing to do is to identify your thoughts as they go through your head. Knowing what causes your anxiety disorders can help you cope with them.
When these thoughts come to you, don't think about them and say I'll be okay, I'm strong and talented and I won't make a fool of myself.

Test your fear.

After you have identified and confronted your thoughts, analyze the fear. Try to counterbalance negative thoughts with realistic, positive thoughts.
Ask yourself questions about your negative thoughts. For example, ask yourself How do I know I'm going to miss my presentation? or What makes me think I'm going to make a mockery of myself? and then ask yourself, Will, I die if I miss it all? The logical answers to all of these questions are: no, you will not humiliate yourself and ruin everything, and even if you do, you are only a man, just like everyone else who is watching you. Even the best ones make mistakes.

Stop making utopian predictions.

A common mistake people make when dealing with social phobia is to make unrealistic and inaccurate predictions about the situation. You can't predict the future and if you try, you will only think of the worst-case scenario, which will not be far from a realistic analysis of the situation. This will only cause you unnecessary anxiety.

  • Remember that you have the opportunity to change your exaggerated thoughts. For example, if you are going to a party, focus on the fact that not all eyes will be on you.
  • Visualize yourself at the party having a relaxed conversation with everyone and enjoying yourself.

Stop making utopian predictions. 

Tell yourself that no one is judging you.

Social phobias can result from thinking that everyone is judging you. If that's what you think, step back and understand that you are not the center of attention and if that's really the case, tell yourself that what they think is not as negative as what you think.

  • Don't try to guess what people are thinking. You can't read people's minds. Also, they don't see the same negative image you portray of yourself in your head.
  • Use social situations to change the negative ideas you have about yourself and practice not changing the way you think about what others say about you.

Working on your fears

Take it one step at a time

 Identify the top 10 situations that cause you to be anxious. Rank them in order of importance and, starting with the most manageable problem, try to deal with each stressful situation gradually.
Wait until you are reasonably able to handle a situation before moving on to the next level. The goal is to overcome your anxiety, not increase it.

  • It may take time to deal with the problems on the list, which is normal. You may never get to number 10, but if you can already deal with 7 of the situations, your anxiety would be much less.
  • If you feel that you are having a hard time coping, contact a psychologist who can assist you while you deal with each situation on the list.

Set achievable goals.

Overcoming your anxiety entirely may seem like too much work. How will you know if you're okay? Putting yourself in situations is not enough. It may be good for a start, but after that, you need to practice more interaction. Set goals every time you go out. As you reach your goals, you will begin to see progress for yourself.

  • Hold small discussions with people you see often, including co-workers, employees, and others. There are tons of things you can talk about, including the weather, a meeting you attended earlier, or an event of some kind. Start by setting a goal to talk to one person each week. Then move on to a new person a day or even several people a day.
  • Set a goal to say something in a meeting or class each time. Don't worry about what others say. Focus on the fact that you've done it. This is called progress.
  • If you're in a group, challenge yourself to make at least three comments during the discussion.
  • Invite someone to dinner, whether it's a friend or a lover. Don't focus on the answer, just on the fact that you were confident and asked.
  • This will help you focus on the task and the goal, not on your nerves. The goal here is to take control of the situation. You have the ability to control what you ask, what you say, and what you do. Don't worry about others, as you cannot control them.
  •  You can even practice with a friend about what you will say or do in a situation.

Interact in social situations

Socialize even more.

Although you may be terrified of getting into social situations, you should try to get involved instead. The more you avoid something, the more that thing controls you. The anxiety generated will increase until it becomes a phobia. The more you get used to something, the less power it has over you.

  • Try to familiarize yourself with the place. Anything you can't control can stress you out. Go to the city, to a restaurant or the gym. Take a walk and familiarize yourself with the place. Once you do, you'll feel more comfortable. Also, start focusing on your surroundings and there you can start making friends.
  • Have someone with you. You don't have to do this alone. Go to an event with a friend or family member. Start at the bottom of the ladder, take a gym class, attend a meet-and-greet group, or participate in a community program.

Find a club or team that fits one of your interests.

Being in the company of people who have the same interests as you can help you interact with them. With groups and clubs, you will have an environment in which to make friends and this can help you to calm your anxiety. It makes it easier for you to connect with others because you just can't blend in.


  • Take it to step by step.
  • Be yourself.
  • Be positive.
  • You will fail. It happens to everyone. Don't be overwhelmed by failure and remember that you are learning. Think of ways to do better next time.
  • Surround yourself with good people. Opt for those who make you happy at the expense of those who just look interesting.
  • Make yourself comfortable. These people are only human and there are more than 7 billion others in the world.
  • There are social phobia groups. If there are in your community, take your courage, and visit one. There you will meet lovely people who will be really happy to meet you.


  • If someone doesn't like you, don't make a big deal out of it. It's not just people in life who like us.
  • Don't avoid things. Every time you avoid a situation, person, or event, you make your social phobia stronger. You'll feel proud of yourself later on and feel more confident in social situations. The more you avoid an embarrassing situation, the more unmanageable it becomes.
  • Don't lose heart. Be patient and persevering, because, in the end, the results will be worth all the work and courage it took to get through it.

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